11
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Filed under: Healing | Tags: Abuse (7), abused (3), believe, breathe, children (2), empowerment, forgive, Healing (11), hurt, life (2), light (5), love (9), memories, pain, peace (8), Rape (12), resentment, Restore the Temple Within, Sexual Abuse (9), Sexual Violence (5), strength (7), suffering, Survivor (9), time, Victory (3), voice (3), wounds (2) | November 11th, 2010
Release
How do we forgive those who hurt us?
This is a question I have asked and been asked for years. For me, it’s not how long ago the hurt took place, but more the depth of how much pain it caused.
I have found that an experience can surface from years ago when we were children, that can be so raw and cutting – it is as if it was yesterday that it actually happened.
How far back does your pain go? How deep are your scars? There are hurts, regrets and disappointments in my life that I have accepted, forgiven and healed – some of these experiences I have been able to forgive were much deeper than others.
But some other memories of pain are harder to release – they’re deeper, more intense. As the time passes and we revisit old wounds, we see that because we haven’t healed them, time has made them heavier and more deeply embedded in our souls.
I have learned to accept their existence in the memory bank of my mind and how their reference tends to present itself randomly. I believe in time, memories heal over if we allow the process of finding peace with the situation, accepting that it’s over and then slowly let them go. And even sometimes – this process includes waiting for the “pain” to actually let us go.
One thing that helps me is to notice my breath as these memories present themselves in my mind. Am I actually breathing or am I holding my breath? I stop, take inventory and notice there are times I hold my breath, my jaw is clenched and my joints are tight and tense. By doing this I am stopping my healing, I am interrupting the flow of this release process trying to take place….thereby keeping me a prisoner of the past.
It’s at these times, I try to remember the basics of a simple meditative, breathing technique: Relax & Restore the Temple Within. Breathing in – acknowledge the experience and how it impacted you; Breathing out – release and let go of the power it has over you; Inhale – Self love, empowerment and peace; Exhale – Pain, suffering, resentment.
Making peace with the past and healing doesn’t require the inclusion or assistance of those who are responsible for our pain or hurt. Peace and Healing are available to us when we are ready to allow them in….and they are as close as the rise and fall of your very own breath…
~ Renee
One Response
Leave a Reply
Genny L | February 10th, 2011 @ 6:00 PM |
After joining Vera House this link appeared on my wall, reading this post first because of the word “Breathe” I quickly realized it is one step farther in my never ending journey for understanding. What came easy when my daughter split her head and needed stitches as advise for her during a painful process took a few more decades for you to say it to me….”just breathe sweets, it only hurts when you hold your breath” I remember saying. Ask questions I said to her and she did. We sailed through the E.R. without much effort then but I kept running from the inner pain of carrying a lifetime of emotional confusion.
I hope you keep this diary going, many people may never be able to get to the meetings or respond but they/we are so in need of a way to let each other know we care and good, bad or indifferent there is always a reason and way to heal. Forgive me if I babble….maybe I need to do just that.
I’d like to share part of an email my Uncle sent around that has kept me together many times over the years…
‘The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.’