For Jenni-Lyn

Angel

Jenni-Lyn Watson, a 20 year-old woman from Syracuse, New York, was murdered the day after she returned home from college for Thanksgiving. Police reports allege that Jenni-Lyn broke up with her boyfriend, Steven Pieper, in October but he would not accept the break up, was controlling and emotionally abusive.  Pieper has been charged with second degree murder and has pled not guilty.

22 year-old Yeardley Love, a senior at the University of Virginia, was murdered this past May while on campus. Her ex-boyfriend, George Huguely, arrested and charged with first degree murder, had an extensive record of previous violence. Despite Huguely’s past, Virginia Law prevented Love from obtaining a restraining order against him. Virginia is one of eight states that excludes people in dating relationships from getting protective restraining orders.

The grief from the loss of these two young women by their families must be horrific and unimaginable.

Here’s some disturbing statistics from T.E.A.R. – Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships:

• One in three teens (30%) say they are text messaged 10, 20, 30 times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited; Technology & Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007)

• More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship (26%) report enduring repeated verbal abuse. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited; February 2005.)

• Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited; February 2005.)

Someone witnessed – at one point or another – the abuse of Jenni-Lyn and Yeardley and now their lives are over. Stories surfaced in both cases of friends, classmates and others who witnessed the obsession these men had with their girlfriends and how even though they tried to end the relationships, the abuse continued.

We must better educate teens on the warning signs of abusive and obsessive relationships. We need more programs that teach acceptable behavior in relationships and how to identify when someone has crossed a line – either emotionally, verbally, sexually or physically.  Help is readily available – in Syracuse, you can contact Vera House; and nationally, RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is an amazing resource available 24 hours a day.

Most importantly, we need to advocate for those who have no voice by using ours even when its uncomfortable. The fear of losing a friendship by speaking up and questioning the relationship, is nothing compared to the loss of a life; and we need to recognize how critical it is to intervene before its too late.

Jenni-Lyn and Yeardley are counting on us to be brave now more than ever…

~ Renee