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The 2012 Clean Slate Diaries

Mar19

On April 28th in Syracuse, New York, something sacred will take place.  Held during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, The 2012 Clean Slate Diaries will honor survivors of Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence through the expression of Art, Music, Dance and Spoken Word Stories. Performed by musicians, dancers and artists from Syracuse, Utica and Ithaca, New York, this evening will celebrate the courageous path survivors have walked and the power of finding wholeness through A Clean Slate.

As someone who has shared her personal story publicly about being raped and experiencing intimate partner violence, I fully embrace the people who are open to this “conversation” – who support and understand the importance of speaking out.  These crimes continue to happen because of the silence and by finding the courage to speak and having community dialogue on these topics, we are definitely saving and changing lives.

The Clean Slate Diaries is produced BY survivors FOR survivors. Most benefits and fundraisers held for awareness and prevention are too expensive for survivors to even attend.  This event is completely FREE OF CHARGE and welcomes male and female survivors of all ages and stages of recovery.

As we put together this year’s collection of artists, musicians and dancers, the performers involved clearly wanted this opportunity to demonstrate their unconditional love and support of survivors – and it is felt in the power of their voice as they sing, the flow and movement of their dance steps and is heard in the lyrics of the songs they perform.

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) states 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That translates into a tremendous amount of emotional and psychological pain and suffering.

The Clean Slate Diaries is an opportunity to ease this pain and provide a sense of healing light in the darkness and isolation of these crimes.  No matter where you are in this process as a survivor, someone who has shown support along the way or if you want to witness a phenomenal production of community and nationally recognized artists joining together for a phenomenal cause – please join us for this incredibly special evening! Visit our website at www.cleanslatediaries.com for more information about the event, the performers and our courageous speakers.

You have no idea how much your presence matters …

In solidarity, love & peace ~

Renee

 

The Clean Slate Diaries

Feb6

Clean Slate Diaries event for survivors of rape and sexual abuse in syracuse and central new yorkThe sunrise signals a new day – another opportunity to start over with a Clean Slate and begin again. This symbolism plays out each morning in my mind, and for that – I am extremely grateful. For many years, it didn’t. I was so emotionally and psychologically broken from being raped by two men who were my friends and then becoming pregnant from the rape, that I didn’t know how to pull myself back together. So, I didn’t. I was one of the walking wounded, searching outside of myself for years to find comfort and healing for my pain. I was convinced that this degrading experience had turned me into something ugly, worthless and shameful.

For survivors of Rape, Incest and Domestic & Sexual Violence, there are no national runs or marathons taking place in support of recovery. There are no medals given or color-coded products sold to recognize the strength, courage and determination required to overcome the trauma that remains from crimes like these.

For this reason alone, I am producing The Clean Slate Diaries this April (Download Flier). Held during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, this will be a Night of Healing & Recognition for survivors of Rape, Incest and Domestic & Sexual Violence – and those who advocate for, support and love them.  Through the expression of Art, Music, Dance and the Spoken Word and performed by Central New York musicians and artists, this evening will celebrate the courageous path survivors have walked and the power of wiping our personal slates clean.

After years of hard work, I realized that what was inside of me could never be changed. Not what someone did to my body, not how I looked on the outside, not what someone said about me and definitely not how badly someone may have treated me. Regardless of what happens – I remain Renee. I am beautiful. My heart is pure. My light shines from within. My spirit cannot be broken. I may, at times, get off track and question my choices … but I am not defined by my outside experiences.

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) states 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That translates into a tremendous amount of emotional and psychological pain and suffering.  It’s the secrecy of and the shame from these crimes that allows them to continue.  The more we “normalize” the discussion process and extend to victims more credibility in the admission process, the less frequently these crimes may happen.

The triumph of the human spirit is undeniable. No matter where you are in this process as a survivor or as someone who has shown support along the way, please come and celebrate your VICTORY with us:  The bravery it takes to keep getting up in the morning, the courage required to look fear squarely in the eye despite shaking uncontrollably and the strength necessary to seek help because you believe there must be something better than living this way.

In Solidarity, Love & Peace ~

Renee

For more information, visit The Clean Slate Diaries page or connect with us on Facebook.

Download Clean Slate Diaries Flier

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

Oct27

Gratitude

Today, I was one of the survivors who spoke at the Syracuse Area Domestic & Sexual Violence Coalition’s Report to the Community. This coalition was established to bring together concerned community members and representatives from law enforcement agencies and professional groups to improve local services and create system level change on issues of domestic and sexual violence.

It was such a privilege to have been asked by Colleen O’Brien and Jennifer Shaw of Syracuse’s Vera House to speak at this important community event. Only survivors can truly appreciate the depth of emotion it takes to open up and divulge such a personal aspect like Rape to a roomful of strangers. But by giving in to this emotional outreach – you can just feel the compassion, healing and love surface and surround you like a warm, soothing blanket gently draped across your shoulders.

For the other brave and courageous young women who spoke publicly for the very first time about their experiences with rape and domestic violence – my deepest and sincerest gratitude for the courage and bravery it took to stand at the podium and speak. What a privilege it was for me to witness your stories.

And for the people who approached me after the event had ended – a heartfelt and sincere thank you for taking the time to speak with me. One woman even told me she didn’t care if she got a parking ticket from her meter expiring – she was going to wait her turn to have the chance to speak with me.  You have no idea what a gift you were to me today!

Your hugs were amazing and your stories unforgettable.  To have you confide your deepest, possibly darkest, secrets to me and gain your trust – is an honor of epic proportion to me.

The best part of participating in these empowering events is the depth of emotion exchanged.  I was able to lend my voice to those who lost theirs and hopefully, in some way, I illuminated the darkness in another person’s life.

It was not my presentation that I will remember but what I witnessed in the voices of others, the long-lasting embraces and the trust gained from those who shared their stories that will continue to sustain me on this journey.

~ Renee